Tuesday, April 29, 2014

My journey to... shape. A shape. Any shape. Preferably a recognizable one.

I've started blogging, oh god. Watch out friends, loved ones, strangers, I've come seeking an audience to babble at again. This is just going to be a collection of whatever the hell I feel like writing about or babbling about. Currently it's my newest project: myself.

I've gone through writing, collectively, and I blame a good friend of mine for turning me against myself this time and deciding that with age comes the need to find that healthy point again. I've started walking at first, rebuilding up stamina from long periods spent behind a computer screen or whatever various jobs I've done to... jogging. I'm currently on day #2.

Day 1 went a little like this: 

Shuffle into jogging shorts, look in mirror.. oh hello nice butt.. took me twenty eight years and two kids to finally get you... and you look great in these. Why did we avoid this for so long? Look at tummy that is my living proof of my food love and children and.. possibly genetics. I don't know. Even in my skinniest unhealthy days I still had a tummy. Regardless! Wiggle into jogging top... oh hello there ladies. Tucked in safely? Good. Look in mirror - no tags or sticky tape showing? Check.. okay! Glasses off - can't jog and loose these, Ipod in.. clip to shoulder of top. 

Stretches! Important to limber up. I vaguely remember this from track that one time in middle school. Oooh god. I'm a little more limber than I thought, but wow. That's a bit of a burn. Okay, don't overdo it... aannnd. Pop up. Time to go! It's Go Time! No more excuses, saw man old as dinosaurs jogging with cane in hand the other day. Let's do this.

Start the jog.
 Well.... this isn't... so bad... actually kind of nice. Boobs are going to likely give me a black eye. Why don't they design tops that somehow magically trap larger breasts in place? Oh god, enjoy the view but I may be possibly about to have to explain that I beat myself up.. with my own chest... okay.

Aaaaaaaand there goes the ipod down the front of the shirt. Too much force.

Halfway around the loop - this .. isn't... oh. Lungs. I can breathe! breathing is good!

okay, its not cheating to slow down a bit to breathe.. oh god someone's looking start jogging... aaaand out of breath. 

Finish loop, sprint towards house.... keep walking. Must cool down heart - not good to just stop. But lungs are saying movement's a baad idea. Oh god. Why did I decide to do this again?

Oh yeah. Masochist.

Day 2: 

Woke up today and my inner thighs... text friend and ask if this is normal.

Wonder how I could ride a horse and not feel this tender there. Remember it's been awhile. Since those muscles where used (dirty minded people!). Chalk it up to possibly that.

Get confirmation - didn't stretch enough. Fauugh. 

Do more stretches today. Into jogging suit - fuck the mirror today it's pouring rain out but we're doing this because.... we're too lazy to drive to the gym (there is irony in this statement). A little bit more difficult today, the muscles are letting me know this was something new and they're not happy about it. Ignore them, continue to stretch because it helps the ache a bit.

Ponder if this means we'll loose weight where we want to. Ponder trying to add squats into daily exercise routine. This may be adding to the whole 'masochist' theory.

Finish stretching... getting odd looks from my cats as if they're saying "have you not learned anything human?"

Oookie. Rain. And a bit of cold. This could work to our benefit if we don't slip and fall on our face.
Is it insanity if you have no voices but you talk to yourself?
Maybe. I guess only if you answer yourself. 

Start jogging... pace better this time. Make it nearly halfway around before starting to loose breath, rain is working in favor keeping body cool and we haven't slipped.

Make it home only slightly out of breath, less burney.


I may post up pictures at some point.

But? so far so good.


  1. They do have bras that hold you down. Try Hanes or Spanx sportswear it helped me alot whenI was taking marital arts.

  2. Oh, I laughed so hard when I read this. I adore you, you crazy, amazing woman you.


  3. Crazy lady.

    Download the C25K app, walk/run intervals to get you to build stamina. Walk to warm up and cool down and stretch after the run according to what I've read. And let your body rest between days. 24-48 hours between runs is a good recovery time.

    BTW, I may be starting the C25K again today. Maybe. After supper. It's a beautiful day out.. maybe I'll blog too to keep me accountable.